Short jokes
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
Do you know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"?
No, it screeches.
Bully: Shut up.
Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
I told my fam a joke.
They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
Here are 4 different ways to do UwU.
1. UwU 2. OwO 3. OwU 4. UwO
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?
The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
Name a shop that racists don’t go to? The black market.