Short jokes
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?
They both fall in September.
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A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.
They never land well.
"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?
So they can climb a fence easier.