Short jokes
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Logan Paul.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
Abdi and Tunde are real.