Short jokes
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
An obese kid farts.
Why did the butt smell so bad? Because he didn’t have a nose! AND HE FARTED TOO!
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
You really gay. No questions added.
Say, "Crack my fingers."
Now say that backwards...
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
What's the worst living thing on planet earth?
Humans.
Maude of ghostposter is a dumb Christian pussy-ass bitch. She's so fucking squeamish it's hilarious, although I hate her.
My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.