Short jokes
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
The person who is reading this.
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
Teacher: *calls you up to the board*. You: Ok. *Gets intense boner* *has to fart really bad* You: F***!!!!!!!
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
What do you call Link when he is hurt?
A link to the cast.
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.
When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.
What college do cows go to?
The Mooniversity.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
T-Series.
What's the definition of disappointment?
Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?
Louie's parents tried this.