Short jokes
I drew a picture of Colby.
Too bad it got ripped up 😢
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
What is the smallest room in the world?
A mushroom.
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
Where did Susie go after the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dad!
Dad who?
Silence.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
What did Steven Hawking say?
Nothing.
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.