Short jokes
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: It was in-tents.
You want a pizza from me!!!!
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
Myles Parfitt ;/
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
My will to live.
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
Why am I idiot?
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.
I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
Daniel takes his frustrations out on Shaenaya and his sexual frustrations out on Arunima.