Short jokes
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?
Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.
Why did Hitler kill people? Because it was funny! 🥵
It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.
Maude of ghostposter is a dumb Christian pussy-ass bitch. She's so fucking squeamish it's hilarious, although I hate her.
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
Why did the butt smell so bad? Because he didn’t have a nose! AND HE FARTED TOO!
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
Jackie gives better head than Marilyn.
Say, "Crack my fingers."
Now say that backwards...
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?