Short jokes
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
Ethan Rice
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Yo mamma's so fat, she had to pull down her pants to get to her wallet!
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
Israel is so fat, when he goes to KFC and they ask what size bucket he wants, he says, "The one on the roof!"😂
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
Why did the baseball player go to jail?
Because he stole first base.
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought NASA is a gaming program!
If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.