Short jokes
What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?
He found that he had a piece in his sole!
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?
It was family friendly.
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
Rapist: Rape doesn't hurt anybody.
Victim: (Implied response indicating the rapist is wrong)
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Where did my rabbit go?
*crunch*
I watch gay porn.
Your forehead is so big your soulmate didn't even want you.
You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
Your nan is gay.
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.