Short jokes

Your classmate: You're so ugly.

Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.

I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."

Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?

Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.

Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.

Kalyn: Mrs. Frizzle,

Mrs. Frizzle: Sure.

Kalyn: Can you spell I-C-U-P for me?

Mrs. Frizzle: Shut up, you little fucktard!

Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?

A: See you on the flip side.

You should always be happy about family and love.

A teacher says, "What comes before 47?" Quiet kid: "AK!"

You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.

What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?

A pee-ano/piano.

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.

What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.

You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.

MAGAnon STOP SCAMING FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Family Guy funny moments.

One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?

One "knight"!!!

I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."

Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong). 😁

I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.

You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.