Short jokes
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
My favorite planet is Saturn because it is tight next to Uranus.
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
Do you want to go to the pool?
Yes? Well, water you waiting for?
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
This is a Cuphead joke.
Why did the clown drive over the cup? Cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
What's red, green, and smells like shit?
... Red and green shit.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
What do you call a whiteboard that is dirty?
A dirty whiteboard.