Short jokes
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...
Me: I just shot an orphan.
Mate: You can’t do that!
Me: What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
Up your pp with a piece of crap!
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!