Short jokes

Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!

Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.

What time is it when you can drive home from phone?

I love going to sleep at night.

I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...

What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?

Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.

What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?

Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!

PP in the poo poo.

So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.

Why don't some people like pennies?

Because it's common cents.

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!

Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?

The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.

What is Sophia’s favourite song?

"Open Wide" cum inside, it is okay school.

A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.

What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.

I guess Neptune is next to Your Anus XDDDD.

What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.