Short jokes
Manchester City is gay.
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?
1 + 1 = window.
What's red, green, and smells like shit?
... Red and green shit.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
What do you call a whiteboard that is dirty?
A dirty whiteboard.
Ben Inkster, more like gay.
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.