Short jokes
Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
Campbell.
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
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What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it is tearable.
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
PP in the poo poo.
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
What is Sophia’s favourite song?
"Open Wide" cum inside, it is okay school.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.