Short jokes
"You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?
Why did LazarBeam kiss a man?
Because he couldn't kiss Fresh; he was already gay.
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
Why did the boy get a koala? He had the koalafications.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?
He was a cheetah.
Knock, knock!
"Is that daddy?"
No, but I'm about to be, so get on your knees!
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats. They want a handout everyday.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
Why am I so sad?
Me: I will rape you!
Woman: NOOOOOO!!! I AM TOO SCARED TO GET "RAPED"!
Why do women be like this?
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.