Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
Short Jokes
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
Why do people adopt orphans?
They get cash.
I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.
Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?
Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!
Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?
You smell!
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
