Short jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?
"Ajous".
I'm going to piss on the floor.
Read if gay.
Aha!
You've heard of anal sex.
You've heard of oral sex.
You've heard of genital sex.
But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
What's autism! My name is Dee Snutz!
What is a queef?
Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
Kollaps
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.