Short jokes

Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.

What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.

People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."

God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"

Pennywise: "They all float down here!"

Titanic: *hold my beer*

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.

I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.

It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.

Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?

So he could trump that little bitch!

My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.

Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?

All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!

What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.

I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.

There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.

I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

9/11.

9/11 who?

You said that you would never forget!

Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?

Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.