Short jokes
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!
Jackhammer McQueerson
My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"
Masturbation is better than rough sex.
Why is the sand always pissed off?
Because the sand never waves back!
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
Stephen Hawking is intelligent.
He is not as green as he is cabbage.
Prom (DYM 85).
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
Don't scare me! I poop easily!
There are two sexes: one with your mother and the other with you.
My dick harder than stone, man.
I've spent most of my life avoiding conflict. That's why I'm never intending to visit Syria.
What has 148 teeth and🥴🥴 holding back a monster? My zipper.
My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"
So I threw my dictionary at her.
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
Your mama is so old, she made a book bigger than the Bible about her life.
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train!
Your hairline is like Mount Everest; it points.
I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!