Short jokes
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
Pennywise: "They all float down here!"
Titanic: *hold my beer*
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.
Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?
So he could trump that little bitch!
My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.