Short jokes
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
The word "ginger" is just the n-word reorganized.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
Can't wait to meet you!
So join the Depression family!
We open real soon!
Try best to hold onto sanity!
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."