Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
Short Jokes
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?
Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
