Short jokes
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Beauty is only skin deep... but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
These Afghanistan people suck at Jenga.
You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.