Short jokes
What's more sensitive than a pushy?
A Western man on the internet.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "Daddy~"
I dislike the UK with a great taste.
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
What is the best la?
A koa-la!
The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.
I have a picture of Uranus on my computer.
China. There. :)
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
What do emos use as birth control?
Their personalities!
Q: What is a clown’s favorite fish?
A: The clownfish.
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
What is humble, holy, and helps?
An angle...