Short jokes
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
"Spider-Man: No Way Home," know why he’s an orphan now?
Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.
I have a secret crush on your momma.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.