Short jokes
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"
Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"
The girl says, "Just like your face."
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"
What do orphans and homework have in common?
Everybody forgets about them.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.
Your hairline goes farther back to Rosa Parks' seat.
What did the orphan poker player say to the elder?
“Will you raise me?”
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.