Short jokes

Short jokes

Hairline

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

Plumber

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

Orphan

Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?

Because they never get picked.

Suicide

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

Money

This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."

People

What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?

Tower 1...

Detector

Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.

Shark

Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?

A: To find his dad.

This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣

Ocean

In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!

Orphan

What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

Dick

(insert funny joke about a dick here).

Did you laugh? Be honest.

Orphan

Why can't an orphan play football? Because they can't find home or return it.

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

Magician

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

Orphan

An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.