Short jokes
Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road? To arrest a faggot for cross-dressing.
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
I love your hair today.
How did you get it to come out your nose like that?
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
It's a life sentence!
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
What's the difference between a boomerang and a Black father?
A boomerang comes back.
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?
A brunette with bad breath.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
Your hairline is so far back, even the Flintstones knew of it.
So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
Yo, stop making 9/11 jokes. My grandpa was a pilot.