Short jokes
Eshay.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
What screams I’m insecure?
I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
What does NASA stand for?
Need a star A.S.A.P.!
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.