Short jokes

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!

Why is Delta jealous?

Because Omicron took the final kill.

Big mummy milkers...

Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.

What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

What's more sensitive than a pushy?

A Western man on the internet.

Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!

Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?

Doctor: The morgue.

Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!

Doctor: And we're not there yet!

People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?

Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?

Because he's their father.

Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.

Being an orphan isn’t all bad.

On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.

Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldn't close the casket.

I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.

His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.