Short jokes
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
What’s fat, brown, and has no dad?
Ama
I would have loved to ride the Titanic at least once ;)
iykyk
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.
(meaning sad)