Short jokes
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
Rip Juice WRLD.
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
What do black lesbians say about pussy?
"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.