Short jokes
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
Why did the dinosaur take a bath?
So it can get ex-stinked!
Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Beauty is only skin deep... but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
Yo momma so fat that she was used as a tank in Putin's war.
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
Your hairline goes farther back to Rosa Parks' seat.
What did the orphan poker player say to the elder?
“Will you raise me?”
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.