Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
Short Jokes
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
"Have fun at school night" is what?
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
I did a good job of being home from school.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.
I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?
Long sleeves.
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
Orphan: I want to be like Batman.
Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.
