Short jokes
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
It's a life sentence!
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?
Wait... nevermind.
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.
Bro, I gotta tell you a joke.
Nevermind, it's too cheesy!
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!