Short jokes
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
What's a ghost's favorite food?
I like some boo-ritos!
What appears over Ash’s head when he gets an idea?
A LightBulbasaur.
Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
My career is worth more than your adoption.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!