Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. You see, Captain America is super old because he was frozen in ice for a long time. So even though he looks good, he missed out on a lot of stuff, including, ahem, 'romance.' Get it? You wouldn't, you're too busy eating paste.
keagan
hi
Neighborhood asshole
And today that will end
Royal
πͺπΊπΈ
The perv from down the road
OH GOD NO