Short jokes
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
Why did the rapper start a gardening business?
He had mad ROOTS in the game.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.