Short jokes
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
I have no puns because I don't play soccer.
TDS - Too Damn Slow!
TDS? More like STDs.
More jokes.
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
dfg.
What cereal do I eat?
Captain Bolts.
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
/setblock minecraft_morbid_joke
/playsound pained_laugh
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.