Short jokes
Where do all orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
I only have sex with suicidal bitches because that pussy [is] limited edition.
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
What is Jesus' favorite gun?
A nail gun.
In Africa, in every 60 seconds, a minute passes.
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
I eat ass.
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.