Short jokes
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What comes after 69?
Period.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
How do you know Adam and Eve were White?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
What is Hitler's least favorite fish?
Jewfish.
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?