Short jokes
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.