Short jokes
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
Are multiple choice questions too easy?
A) Yes.
I was Gandalf the Grey.
But now, after just three washes...
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Red sky at night, shepherd's delight.
Blue sky at night, day.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!