Short jokes
Stormtrooper: What happened with your garden?
Palpatine: Grew it.
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
You are quite [something].
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Year 10 English.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
A man with a drum.
"Well, tell him to beat it!"
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
Believe in unicorns, and they'll believe in you!
Pen15
Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.