Short jokes
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?
A: An airport.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!
"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Why did C.S.C fail the Trig test? Cosecant remember his own name! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?
"Where do you live?"
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
Bippity Boppity,
Women are property.