Short jokes
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.