Short jokes
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
How many children does Explain Bear have?
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.
Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
Alpha Kenny body?
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.