Short jokes
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”
Papaumamaumau papaumaumamau.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.
"Hi, I’m Dan White’s dad. Where is he?"
What did the pickle do on the road?
It said, "I'm Pickle Rick!"
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
Which dinosaurs masturbated the most? Triceratops, they were the horniest!
Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!
If you're taking notes in history class, aren't you just rewriting history?
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.