Short jokes

Short jokes

Parking spot

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

Gay

Why don't gays shop at sports authority?

They prefer Dick's.

Funeral

What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?

Fall Guys.

Sex

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Baby

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

Pig

What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?

They always getting hit.

Girlfriend

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

Hairline

Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.

Uncle

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

Train

I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.

Male

Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?

Because a black person was approaching.

Mom

Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.