What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Short Jokes
Rabbit poop is cereal.
"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
Thereās no "I" in "sex," but thereās a "U" in "cum."
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
Whatās the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
