Short jokes
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?
'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?
"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
Your hairline is so far gone that you could build a runway.
What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
What do you call the heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson?
Jeffrey Epstein.
Where does Michael Joseph Jackson like to eat at?
A Del-he-he.