Short jokes
4chan
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
You are quite [something].
I love stairs. They always bring me up.
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
Year 10 English.
Roses are red, chocolate is brown,
I expect nothing and still get let down!
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
A man with a drum.
"Well, tell him to beat it!"
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
Ice cream is just like I scream.