Short jokes
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
I don't understand why the Twin Towers were super upset.
Their pizza just got there a lot faster by plane.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”
I guess you could say, “harassment something.”
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
Takis.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.
Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?