Short jokes
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!
He's a hot babe and he's single.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A dragon.
A dragon who?
The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.