Short jokes

I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.

What’s the difference between milk and the air?

At least the air will always be there for me.

I was working at Fredbear’s, but then I got bite of ‘83’d.

An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?

Why don't gays shop at sports authority?

They prefer Dick's.

Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.

Five more days.

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.

I call it my trail mix.

You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.

It's not a joke.

What superhero will orphans never understand?

Homelander.