Short jokes
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
Sister: You're so stupid.
Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!
Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
Keep yourself safe!
What's the difference between a crumbled man and 9/11... nothing, they're both crumbled.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
Iron jug.
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
Where did Sora go during Nagasaki?
Everywhere.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
How to turn on an Indian: push the red button.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
Cool people: I can do anything.
Normal people: I can do nothing.
Do you play COC?
Because it’s a pretty good game.
South Tower: Man, that was da bomb.
North Tower: No, that was da plane.