Short jokes
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
Hey I have a joke for you.
My life hahah. I wanna die.
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?
Where do surfers go to school?
Boarding school.
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
Student: It's hot in here.
Teacher: That's because I'm in here.