Short jokes
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
What did Jamie do after the sucky sucky?
He gagged!
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.
And that's what made him go down in history.
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
What's Mussolini's favorite food?
Fussolini!
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?