Short jokes
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
Me and the boys are cool.
"Ow! You hit the spot!"
Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
Chimichanga.
What do 7 year old girls want?
To be ate!
Wife: βI want another baby.β
Husband: βThatβs a relief, I also really donβt like this one!β
What happens at the orphanage be like:
The orphans: βHE IS THE MESSIAH!β
Why did LankyboxGamesJustin go to the aquarium?
Because he's gonna dance with aquayyyyrium!
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.