Short jokes
Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.
When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.
(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts
Wanna hear a terrible joke?
Paper
Pretty tear-able, huh?
Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?
A blowjob is anonymous.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.
You shouldn’t bully fat people.
They already have enough on their plate.
Me: spreading positivity.
Everyone else at the HIV testing center.
People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.