Short jokes
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?
I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.
(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts
Wanna hear a terrible joke?
Paper
Pretty tear-able, huh?
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?
A blowjob is anonymous.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.