I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.
(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts
Short Jokes
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
Wanna hear a terrible joke?
Paper
Pretty tear-able, huh?
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.
Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
Me: spreading positivity.
Everyone else at the HIV testing center.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.
What's both red, white and sometimes purple?
My arms...
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
