Short jokes
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?
Guardian of the confessional booth.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
How does Jesus make tea?
Hebrews it.
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
Phill Ming.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?
Both have eight legs.
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.