Short jokes

Your hairline is more bent than James Charles' gender.

What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.

In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."

What's a Mexican's least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.

They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.

What do you call a chair that smokes weed?

A high chair.

Nobody

Literally nobody

Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?

How does Jesus make tea?

Hebrews it.

Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!

I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?

Phill Ming.

You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.

One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.

What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?

Both have eight legs.

What do you call a single bisexual?

All bi myself.

Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.

Amber Heard's Morning Routine

Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.

Why don't witches wear underwear?

So they can get a better grip on their broom.

Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.