Short jokes
Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.
How does Jesus make tea?
Hebrews it.
Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
Phill Ming.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?
Both have eight legs.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.