Short jokes
Wanna hear a terrible joke?
Paper
Pretty tear-able, huh?
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
Roses are red, Burnt bodies are black.
You'd look great With a knife in your back.
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Up into the sky so very far, here comes Dr. Seuss! "ALLAHU AKBAR", at the ripe old age of 97, he committed 9/11.
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.
Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.
What's both red, white and sometimes purple?
My arms...
(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."