Short jokes

When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.

"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."

You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.

Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."

These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.

Mohe?

Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?

They didn't because they ate it.

What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.

Why were her hands purple?

She heard it through the grapevine.

All my 9/11 jokes seem to fly too low.

What do you call a terrible bus company?

Stagecoach Highlands.

Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.

Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?

Snoopy Dog.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?

Chlamydia.

I came on for an orphan joke.

Then I realized they are a joke.