(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
Short Jokes
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.
Think about it.
So cinema.
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
Drawers!
Hey, Kenya, what is your favorite song?
"Lonely."
What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?
He strained himself.
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.
Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.
Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?
I know I've changed my name from tj to selfish king but know it's gunna be selfishking#781.
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
