Short jokes
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
How does a rapper start a race?
With a ready, set, FLOW!
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.