Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
Short Jokes
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
Have you heard of Wendy's?
Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
Puss.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.
They had to call an archeologist.
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
What do you call a Punjabi that’s drowning? Mandeep.
