Short jokes
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
My friend Enyaw is gay, she is a cunt.
I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.
Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.