Short jokes

What are two things that an orphan can’t have?

Two parents.

73 Earths can fit in Uranus.

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

I'm high and it's very hot.

I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.

I'm too lazy to read gags. http://gestyy.com/eiDOWp

Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.

Hi Blake.

What did the frog order?

A diet Croak!

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.

Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.

Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

And Sterling has taken a dive.

That's all for financial news, back to the football.

I was Gandalf the Grey.

But now, after just three washes...

Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?