What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
Short Jokes
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Ur adopted.
Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.
