Short jokes
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.