Short jokes
Q: How heavy is a photon?
A: It's light!
"Stupid ass baby."
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
/setblock minecraft_morbid_joke
/playsound pained_laugh
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!