Short jokes

Short jokes

Case

Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!

Hospital

I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!

What a negative effect!

Bomber

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

Train Driver

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

Gold

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.

Dog

Why did the dog cross the road twice?

Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.

Chocolate

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

Harassment

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

Emo

Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!

Vet

It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.

He was a great vet.

Threesome

A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"