Short jokes
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Remember the name Ben Andrews.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?
'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
What do you call a dead black plantation worker? Fertilizer.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
Are you the Twin Towers? 'Cause you sure upgraded.
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?
Lights are hanging.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]