Short jokes
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
His hairline is so ugly that Martin Luther King had a dream about it.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
What do you call a dumpster with an antenna on it? Radio Morocco.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
What did Eve say to Adam?
"That is rock hard."
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
Imagine. Kobe could not.
How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.