Short jokes

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.

Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.

In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?

None, both carpet munchers eat out.

Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?

Once again, they don't fall for the trick!

I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.

But I can break yours today, hopefully.

I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.

Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

The creator's son tried that!

(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)

Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?

Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.

What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.

(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.

My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.

"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.

But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.