Short jokes
Orphan: I'm hungry.
Dad: Let's go to KFC.
Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.
What do you call Mordecai dressing up as a basketball player?
Blue Jay Simpson!
What do you call a crazy lesbian?
Fruit Loops.
What do lesbians love to use in art class?
Scissors.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
Why do women love wind chimes?
They vibrate.
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.