Short jokes
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
What do gingers miss most at a grate party?
The invitation.
What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?
Not sure, I just fly the drone.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
I like your cut, G.
*Slaps really hard*
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
What song does Kobe Bryant hate?
"Rocky Mountain High."
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.