Short jokes
You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Balls are balls, aka dicks.
Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.
Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.
What do you call Autistic kids baking?
"Downies" with brownies.
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer?
Answer: Ryan's forehead.
Roses are red, violets are violet. I mean, come on, it's literally in the name!
My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.
What's the Twin Towers' favorite type of transport?
Planes.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.
Yo hairline so large, you could land a fighter jet on it.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.