Short jokes
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
What song does Kobe Bryant hate?
"Rocky Mountain High."
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.