Short jokes
Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
His gay ass dad.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!
Your mother's hairline is sooooooo long cause Dora the Explorer could not explore it.
My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.
I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee!
Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
British emo people be like, "Oi, I'm upset."