Short jokes
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A dragon.
A dragon who?
The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
Messi chiquito...
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?