Short jokes
Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
His gay ass dad.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
What does the cent say when it says hello? It waves.
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.
A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
Your mother's hairline is sooooooo long cause Dora the Explorer could not explore it.
Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.