Short jokes
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Okay, so turns out the toasters are not waterproof...
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
Got fired from the bank yesterday.
They caught me drinking on the job.
An autistic man walks into a bra.
What did the therapist say to the rapist yes please
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.