Short jokes
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
What did the mermaid wear for math class?
Algaebra.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?
"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
When did Michael say, "This is it"?
2009.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.