Short jokes
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
What did the blind man say on Christmas?
"I can feel your presents!"
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
Butthole.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
What animal lies? A lion.