Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen here, chucklehead. The guy in the joke THOUGHT someone had a rifle pressed against his back, but instead it was just someone expressing their happiness to see him. It's a play on expectations. The dude thought he was gonna get shot, but it was just a boner! You probably thought that the Earth was flat until last week... I'm just sayin'.
Konehead
Might be Joe Biden.