Short jokes
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon.
I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!
"September 11th plane driving classes for free."
What did the spectator miss when going to the toilet?
The entire English innings.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
What did the coal say to the charcoal?
You look pretty coal! 🤣
I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
"Hold my beer, watch this."
I know you came here to feel good about yourself...