Short jokes
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
Why do emo kids hate high fives?
They’re always left hanging.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
Your hairline recedes so far back that it defends your forehead.
Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.
Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.
Go sub to Patty Mahomes on YouTube!
Like if you will sub to Patty Mahomes.
Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"