Short jokes

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.

Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...

Well nvm, they shot him dead.

SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:

D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!

SCP-1540: A am a were.

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?

Exactly, cuz she's a woman.

What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.

Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?

A: It's already done for you.

The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.

They were plane as usual.

Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

What do you call a nosy Mexican?

That's nacho business.

"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?

He kept dropping the bass."

What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).

Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!

What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both got taken out by two jets.

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?

Panera bloodshed.

What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?

Panera misled.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.