Short jokes
What did the therapist say to the rapist yes please
What do Hitler and Trump have in common? They both do hand gestures.
An autistic man walks into a bra.
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?
"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
I like peanut butter and honey.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)