Short jokes
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
What animal lies? A lion.
Why did the girl 👧 bring lipstick 💄 to beauty school?
Because she had a make-up exam.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Bananana!
Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,
Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
What do you call a Black Iron Man?
Robert Browny Jr.
Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.