Short jokes
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"
When I become a parent, I’m gonna regurgitate my food to feed my children.
It’ll give me an excuse to make out with my daughter.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
Ariana Grande
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
Girls with the name Zoe have big foreheads.
Fortnite is gay and rëtarded.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
Ever heard of the game T.T.2: 9/11? That game was bomb.
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?