Short jokes
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
Paper.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)