Short jokes
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
MAGAnon is the goat.
🦆🦆🦆
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
I wanted to buy some camo pants, but I couldn't find any.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."