Name

Whats_My_Name?

A kid walks in late to class, the teacher asks him “why are you late?” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake” Another kid walks in late to class and the teacher asks him “why are you late” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake”, The last kid walks in and the teacher says “why are you late?..and why are you wet?” and the kid says back REMEBER MY NAME IS PEBBLES!!

Sister

random person

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3… The boy said, “Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she’s in Grade 4”.

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Principal: 6+6.

Boy: 12.

The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send the boy to Grade 4 immediately. The Madam decided to ask her own questions and the principal agreed.

Madam: What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?

Boy: Legs.

Madam: What is in your trousers that I don’t have?

Boy: Pockets.

Madam: What starts with a C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut.

Madam: What goes in hard & then comes out soft & sticky?

The principal’s eyes opened really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge

Boy: Bubble gum.

Madam: You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do.

Boy: Tent.

The principal was looking restless

Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you are bored. The best man always has me first?.

Boy: Wedding ring.

Madam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I Drip. When you blow me, you feel good?

Boy: Nose.

Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver.

Boy: Arrow.

Principal: O MY GOD.

Madam: What starts with ‘F’ and ends wit a ‘K’ and if you don’t get it, you’ve to use your hand?

Boy: Fork.

Madam: What is it that all men have, it’s longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage?

Boy: Surname.

Principal: Ohooo !

Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpkin and is responsible for making love?

Boy: Heart.

Principal: Eeeeeh! The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Madam, “Send this bloody boy to the university. I myself got all the answers wrong!”

Girl

Anonymous

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I’ve made wet this year to -1.

2

Rain

Anonymous

Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain “Quick,” lets swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"

Shooting

B-rett

A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.”

There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.”

There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.”

There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.”

There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.”

Then it all happened

The fly dropped six inches

The fish came up and caught the fly

The bear came out and caught the fish

The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich

The mouse went for the sandwich

The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond

The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.

1

Die

Killstreak 12

It want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head

1

Rain

Anonymous

John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming

Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am

Hotness

KiritoHD

Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.

Vegetable

Anonymous

Weather is like sex. Once In a while you need to get wet.

0

Titanic

Anonymous

It was the year 1912, I was in the SS. titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, “I’ve heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?”

1

Ham

111101

What did Jim say to Jeff?

“I killed your ham.”

Girl

Anonymous

Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband, “Bruce! Bruce!” and he came running in. “Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor” she said. “S’truth, Sheila!” Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. “You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber.” They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. “No way, we can’t do it!” Cobber said, “So let’s try Plan B” “Plan B?” exclaimed Bruce, “What’s that?” “I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her” replied Cobber. “Spot on” Bruce said, “While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples” “Play with her nipples?” Cobber said, “Not exactly a good time for that mate” "No… " Bruce replied, “But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper”

Scream

Beech Dawg

“Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled. “I’m so wet, give it to me now!” She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

Bad

Damyanl27

You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and your wet.

Nut

William

Why didn’t the squirrel wanna go swimming because he didnt wanna get his nuts wet

Legs

Anonymous

What’s red, small, wet and crawls up your leg?

  • A homesick abortion
0

Car

Cowbelly

1950: In the future there will be flying cars

2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson

Dry

Annonumus

What goes in dry and comes out wet?

A dick

Red

Anonymous

What’s red blonde and wet

Saskia in grain

Toilet

Anonymous

why was the sand wet? because the sea weed!