Short jokes
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.
Yo momma so slutty, she could use a tank truck as a dildo.
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
Yo mama so fat...
...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.