Short jokes
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.
You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?
Because he didn't have a pen to write with.
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
My username good.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
Why do the police never catch the orphan?
The orphan is not wanted.