Short jokes
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
What do you call a black woman?
A Nigg-girl.
Hi, I'm cool.
Make like a drum and beat it!
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
My parents love me.
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.